8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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