my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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