All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
