Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
