Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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