It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
