Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
