Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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