yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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