how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize