Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
