I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
