it wasn't lemon gatorade
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
