Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
