if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
