No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
either way he was missing a nipple.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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