So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
