Dual....:-)
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
