is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
