Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
