I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize