I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
