Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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