lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
