I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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