Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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