What a fucking waste of an outfit
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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