Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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