:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
