Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Mom said you looked used
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
That accounts for only three of the penises
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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