what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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