Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
