Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
