Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
