I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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