i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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