apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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