Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
