Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
