Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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