hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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