he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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