The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she told me i tasted like america
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize