Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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