Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
