Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
