her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
