That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
