when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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