billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
