We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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