Who wears a wallet chain?!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
