i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
