we're blogging at a bar
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
