i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
