He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize