Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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