i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
