Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?

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(207): View more from Maine

I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.

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(718): View more from New York

I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.

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(815): View more from Illinois

If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.

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(785): View more from Kansas

coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow

(1-785): View more from Kansas

why would you restrict a girl of that

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV

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(631): View more from New York

I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning

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(310): View more from California

At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic

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