yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I currently don't understand fingers.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
