Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
