The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize