He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
