you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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