i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
