I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
