On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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