wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
