after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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