just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize