I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
