This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
